One of the hardest things for me to do is find my motivation to work out every day. When I started law school I decided to get into running. I was in a new city, living in the cutest little house in the quaintest little neighborhood, and everyone else seemed to do it, so I started going on morning runs. Then it got cold and I was like ehhhh not doing that anymore. I really wanted to keep working out, but it was just so hard to find motivation most days over the next year. I would go workout every now and then but I just couldn’t seem to want to go consistently.
I have always had issues with my body. They probably started around 3rd grade when I think I started to put on weight. I also was one of the least fashionable kids ever. I insisted on wearing these big circular glasses and kerchiefs in my hair or else it was just wild. Since then I’ve always been uncomfortable in my own skin and always comparing my “look” to everyone else. This issue has haunted me through middle school to high school (I got really into wearing baggy clothes so no one could tell how chubby I was), into college and sometimes still shows up in my life these days.
I’ve spent probably 60% of my life hating the way I look, the way my body looks, how clothes fit, and most of all my unruly hair. It’s amazing how much time I’ve spent over the years berating myself for not being good enough. Heck I even did it today when I went to the gym with these two thin beautiful women and there I was, big thighs, chubby waist and SUPER sweaty. But after thinking about it, I was still there working out with these two hotties and keeping up! That’s what matters!
This year my goal is to change this. It’s definitely not something easy to do. In 2018 I started with a small goal of seeing how many times I could hit 20 workouts in one month. I managed to do it 6 out of 12 months. I was amazed! For a few weeks in August I was even doing 2 workouts a day (a mile or so run in the morning) and then weight lifting in the afternoon/evening. I also finally broke down and bought some workout plans and started to purchase some good workout outfits.
Fast forward to now and while the mental struggle is still strong (it takes working on it everyday), I’ve already managed to hit 15 workouts this month. How does this happen? Planning. Planning. Planning. I’ve now got a goal of hitting 20 workouts a month for 9 out of the 12 months this year and dammit I am going to do it!
My hope is that this year I will learn to be a little more comfortable in my body and really commit to working out in a way that makes me proud of the body I have. Working out for me isn’t about being a bodybuilder or looking extra hot in a bikini (I mean come on I love food way toooooo much!), no, it is about giving my body some extra love by feeding it and trying to add movement to every day, if not most days.
SO if you are like me and looking to just give your body mind and soul some TLC this year, grab a blank calendar, put it near your wall and track it all. Hold yourself accountable. Make it a priority and be patient with yourself. Some days will be hard, but we can get through them. I know we can.